Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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