Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
