Pappa wants mamma naked
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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