the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
