Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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