i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize