i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
