No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
