community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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