Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
