your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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