I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
