The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize