i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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