Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
