i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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