So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
