I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
