not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
