Sry I called you an 8
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
