Barsexuality is the new black.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
