I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
