Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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