I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
