how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
