i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize