I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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