We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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