I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
