Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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