Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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