Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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