does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
