You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
