The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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