Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
