Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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