I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
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My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
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You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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