You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
