Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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