I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
