I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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