It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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