I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
