Im at strip club and am horny
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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