Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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