some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
