Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
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well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
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I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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