Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
