So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
do herpes really smell.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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