Pappa wants mamma naked
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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