its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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