Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize