Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Every concussion has its silver lining
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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