ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
