I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
