It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
