with your own penis?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
