You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
