Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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