turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
